Silly wabbit, Twix are for kids!
I'm not going to lie to you: I bought the PB Twix for this review because I had it like two years ago and it's the greatest Twix candy bar ever. I'm not a huge fan of caramel, so replacing that demon syrup with peanut butter is as great if not better innovation than the steam engine and indoor plumbing combined. And--get this--they even replaced the normal awesome cookie with an even awesomer chocolate cookie. This was an unnecessary but surely welcome development. It is peanut butter slathered on top of chocolate cookie, dipped in chocolate. Also: no calories.
That last part may or may not be a lie, but if you are a true American, you will not care.
Of course, to be fair, it's hard to screw up peanut butter. So we'll move to the next one, Triple Chocolate. I actually don't see this one around much; I happened to find it at a local independent market. The problem is--I can't quite figure out why it's called Triple Chocolate. As far as I can tell, it is a regular Twix with a chocolate cookie instead of a regular one. I count two, not three. It's not bad, but the caramel taste the same as normal to me. Perhaps I'm missing something, or there is some secret hidden layer of chocolate I'm not tasting. It's not bad, though.
The third layer of chocolate-covered chocolate chips is hidden right beneath that middle class tax cut.
The last one is the Java Twix. I have to admit I wasn't a fan of this one, which is odd because I do likes me some coffee-flavored candy. It really doesn't taste like coffee--it tastes like the normal chocoalte, caramel, and cookie with a slight coffee aftertaste. Almost like that day-old mug that's still sitting on your desk and smells faintly of yesterday's morning blend--it tastes like that. The problem is that it's not particularly subtle, either--it's just an odd combination. I'll eat these on occasion but I wouldn't go out of my way to buy any.
Perhaps if they sold it in a Styrofoam cup and charged five bucks for it people would go crazy over it.
Of course, the regular old Twix is always a favorite; I'd probably just as soon eat the original than any of these. That doesn't count the PB Twix, though--without caramel, it's almost a completely different type of candy bar. It doesn't help when you try to cram three of these in your mouth all in one sitting; my kitchen table looked like a battlefield. The world's greatest, sweetest, chocolatiest battlefield.
I'm...I'm just gonna blame this one on the dog.