Thursday, November 4, 2010

I Get It

I've found that I have a new phrase in my vocabulary--along with "What's wrong with you?" and "That was my nickname in college!"*--and that I use it alarmingly frequently: "I get it."

Normally, I use this phrase when I want to object to something that is socially unacceptable to disagree with:

"Glee sucks. I mean, I get it--it's music and everyone is happy and it's supposed to be a satire on high school. But it's like watching a drag version of High School Musical, and High School Musical is just a shitty version of everything else in the media to begin with."

YES, THOSE ARE HEADLIGHTS. MOVE OUT OF THE WAY.

"The new health care bill is awful. I get it--people have no insurance and get sick with no recourse. But so help me if they raise my taxes any more than they already are, I see 535 people in congress who are gonna need that health insurance."

"I don't understand why Nicolas Cage is still a successful actor. I mean, I get it--he's in all these hit movies and people pay tons of money to go see him. But, my goodness, if that bastard child of Jimmy Stewart and Elvis wasn't the soul-sucking nephew of Francis Ford Coppola, he's be working part-time at the Waffle House serving ham instead of being it and getting once-a-year gigs as Limping Pedestrian #4 in Iron Eagle 6 instead of mugging his way through half-baked action films."

Oh, boo hoo, Steve doesn't like me. I'm sure I will find time to dry my crying eyes between taking a dump in my solid gold toilet and running these huge sacks of cash to the bank before it closes.

I probably should stop saying it, but I also know full well that I won't. 

*This may be the subject of a future post.

No comments:

Post a Comment