Saturday, January 22, 2011

Monkey In The Middle

Conversation in the car:

Me: You know, I have to watch my Netflix movie. I've been sitting on it for like a month.
Wife: What is it?
Me: Any Which Way But Loose.* You know, the monkey movie.
Wife: Yeah, I know. That's with Burt Reynolds, right?
Me: [Almost crashing] NOOO. It's with Clint Eastwood** and country music and a monkey.
Wife: There have never been any good monkey movies. Dustin's Day Out.
Me: Dunston Checks In. There were others. I just can't think of them.
Wife: King Kong--monkey dies.
Me: Right.
Wife: Gorillas in the Mist--boring.
Me: Mmm hmm.
Wife: Project X--all the monkeys die.
Me: What?
Wife: Yeah.
Me: Well, it doesn't really count, but there was an old TV show called BJ and the Bear. About a cop who had a chimp as his partner.***
Wife: Was it any good?
Me: Yes.
Wife: So he had a bear?
Me: No, I think they called the monkey Bear. Like a nickname. I think. Or maybe BJ was the monkey. I think his name was Banana Jones. Lieutenant Banana Jones, reporting for duty. Man, that was a great show.****
Wife: What? I've stopped listening to you.You can watch your Smokey And The Bandit whenever you want. I'll be doing something else.

*Yes, I know that it's Every Which Way But Loose. I was confusing it with the sequel, Any Which Way You Can.
**I am a modest Clint Eastwood fan, in the sense that the Atlantic Ocean is modestly wet. The fact that my wife does not know the entire cast of every Clint Eastwood movie ever made should be a crime and I plan on writing my congressman.
***This is, in fact, not the premise of the television show.
****I have never seen this show.

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