Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Static and Noise: So Help Me

Slow Ride: You know, I love Pittsburgh. I really, really do. But riddle me this: Pittsburgh is a city where Steelers fans have absolutely no problem whatsoever standing outside in parking lots in -20 degree below wind chill eight hours before kickoff. Yet so help us if it sprinkles in the morning, because then everyone drives like a myopic grandmother with no shocks and the gout navigating the roads of Tikrit. It's not the apocalypse, people. It's rain, and not much of it, at that. Thank goodness I don't have to drive through any tunnels. I think people might actually start to move backwards then.

@&#%!: I think the fact that Q*Bert is not available in the Android Marketplace is one of the gravest injustices of the past two centuries.*

Go Tigers! There's been a lot of noise about the Tiger Mother on various blogs. I had an idea for a post about it, but quite frankly it's rehashing more or less what everyone else has already said. (For those that aren't aware, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother is a book by Yale professor Amy Chua, claiming that the strict upbringing of first-generation Chinese parents--i.e., cello practice for four hours a night, no sleepovers or any fun ever, etc.--breeds successful children, unlike the yokels Americans crank out each year.) Bottom line: Too strict (i.e., Chinese), and you'll have miserable kids. Too lax (i.e., American), and your kids will be unsuccessful. Of course, most of the reaction in the states is on the side of "Oh yeah? If American kids are too lazy, how come we dropped the Big One on you!** U.S.A.! U.S.A.! (shoot handguns in air, eat deep fried butter, occupy South American nation)" And on the eastern side, the Chinese don't say anything, because 1) they are too busy using math and science to invent things to put us out of business, and 2) if they do say anything they will be savagely beaten by the police.

Steeler Nation: Speaking of Korea, I just found out that if you type in "Steeler Season 2010" in Wikipedia, the first result is not the Pittsburgh Steelers, but the reference page for the 2010 Pohang Steelers season, a soccer team in Pohang, Gyeongsangbuk-do, South Korea. This seems to me to be one of the gravest injustices of the past two centuries.

*The only benefit is that every time I search for Q*Bert or a form of it, Android comes back with wallpapers of Elisha Cuthbert. So, there's that. 
**Yes, this was on purpose. Everyone knows we dropped the atomic bomb on Singapore.

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