Saturday, February 12, 2011

Dinner For Two

Some of you may not have heard, but there was a football game last weekend. In it, the valiant and brave Pittsburgh Steelers fought a gallant but ultimately futile battle against the hated Green Bay Packers. There was much at stake; not only the championship, but the shame of leaving the field not as millionaires, but as millionaires with a very slightly less amount of money.

I watched the game with some friends, among them my wife. Prior to the game, me and my wife debated whether we should place a bet with each other on the game. We thought about it and then kind of forgot about it and, finally made the following determination: if the Packers won, I would have to cook my wife dinner. If they won by more than 14 points, she would get to pick the menu. This was a particularly dangerous offer that was tendered, considering that the full extent of my culinary abilities hits the maximum at about a bowl of Cap'n Crunch and a peanut butter sandwich (w/ crusts). If the Steelers won--at the time the forgone conclusion here in western PA--my wife would be forced to watch the single greatest movie ever filmed, Every Which Way But Loose. If the Steelers won by more than 14 points, she would also have to watch the sequel, Any Which Way You Can.

Well, four quarters later and it looked like I was cooking dinner. Thankfully, she did not get to choose the menu; I am certain whatever delight she would have tasked me to prepare would have ended up with cardboard and paprika and frosting in it somehow.

By some mere coincidence, it is also Valentines Day weekend, so I craftily combined the two. I actually have the ability to grill, so tonight I treated my lovely wife to a good, old-fashioned steak and potatoes dinner.

While I was standing outside in the not-summer weather, though, holding my tongs and smelling the sweet, succulent smell of steak and garlic, I thought up a million-dollar idea. It's a T-Shirt that shows a guy grinning from ear to ear in front of a grill holding tongs and wearing an apron. The caption reads: "Grillin' like a Villain." I can't possibly imagine how this isn't the greatest idea ever.

So, anyway: thank you, Steelers Organization, and Ben Roethlisberger specifically for throwing two interceptions, for letting me eat steak tonight and become a theoretical millionaire.

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