Saturday, March 5, 2011

Static And Noise: I'm an F-18, Bro

The Sheen Dream: I have specifically avoided writing about Charlie Sheen for a few different reasons. Mostly, it is that I (quite undeservedly) agree with a lot of what he's saying. Save me your protestations: I'm aware that he's a convicted drug user and an alleged domestic abuser, among probably a thousand other reasons that he's a scumbag. And yet, when you strip away all of the crazy and the catch-phrases, his arguments are quite logically sound and I'm afraid I agree that they make more sense than not. (But, of course, the crazy and the catch-phrases are still quite awesome). I've debated writing a full-length post about Sheen, but I haven't, and for one major, overriding reason: the moment I make public some heartily constructed and valiant defense of Charlie Sheen, he will come out supporting a man's right to snort lines of coke off of newborns or that the Holocaust was scriptwritten. So...we'll just leave it at that.

And So It Begins: There is an easy way of telling when someone is running for president, and that is when they pop up in the news twice in a week when they hadn't been in the news for like three years. And so enter Mike Huckabee, who has managed to botch Obama's upbringing (claiming he grew up in Kenya), and a sloppy attack on (of all people) Natalie Portman. The Portman episode is probably overblown--the actual content of his message isn't particularly controversial, though his delivery was a bit uncouth--but otherwise, he's clearly stoking the fires to gauge his support. Newt Gingrich, of course, officially declared his exploratory committee. One of my friends long ago labeled Huckabee a "con-man preacher," which is probably accurate; and I've long held that Gingrich is an impressive ideas man and an efficient policy wonk but an awful presidential candidate. So if you take what we've seen this week, multiply it by like a hundred, you'll see what we're going to witness for the next year and a half. Yay for democracy!

The Dog Days of Spring: My youngest dog, Chloe, is running around in our backyard for the first time. She is absolutely loving it, but she hasn't quite got the grasp of leaving a lane open. Don't know what that means? Let's just say there is a place where people walk and a place where dogs do what they do when they are outside, and never shall their paths cross. Dexter picked up on it pretty quick, so I'm hoping that she'll catch on as well. But she also learned to race up the steps on her own, which Dexter took a while to figure out. In any case, we're hoping that a side effect of all this is that she stops BARKING SO MUCH. We shall see.

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