Friday, June 24, 2011

Trending: Hogwarts Rising Edition

Ryan Dunn: -8 Hey, hoss, FYI: Getting your blood alcohol level too high and murdering a war hero by driving your Porsche fast enough until it bursts into flames doesn't exactly qualify as a "prank."

Huntsman Joins The Race: +1 And all the Chinese Mormons say heeeerooooo!

Grunt Ban At Wimbledon: -1 Now how am I supposed to tell if I'm watching tennis, weightlifting, or Cinemax at four in the morning? Oh, right, I'll be awake.  

Rick Perry Thinks About Running: +2 Because the last time a Texas governor ran it turned out so well.

Sayeth the Raven, Pottermore!: +4 As the last of the Harry Potter movie franchise is released in a few weeks, J. K. Rowling took some time off from heating her house with pound notes to create a website devoted to new Potter material. Things like why Ron Weasley didn't hit puberty until age 40, Dumbledore's favorite teal countertop patterns, and how unimpressed Hermione was when Harry showed her what kind of wood his wand was really made of.  

Miss Tennesse Is Not OK With Burning Quoran: Push Something tells me one less book in the world won't really affect too many Miss USA contestants.

Wal-Mart Discrimination Case Halted: -2 I get it, but really...if your main ambition in life is to be the manager of a Wal-Mart, it's possible you may need to reevaluate your priorities before you start appealing to the Supreme Court. 

Whitey Bulger: -8 The mafia powerhouse took over Osama bin Laden's spot as the #1 Most Wanted Fugitive once the terrorist took a dive. He was a little easier to catch, mostly because 1) he was over 80 years old, and 2) didn't have the entirety of the government of Pakistan covering for him.

Keith Olbermann Launches New TV Show: +1 His new show is trying to skew to a younger demographic, so now an entirely new generation of viewers can not watch his basic cable show.

PittGirl: +10 The duchess of Pittsburgh blogging over at That's Church, poor Virginia has seen the destruction of her restaurant and an enigmatic medical issue in the last few months, not counting the still-remaining existence of pigeons. Send some positive vibes over her direction, if possible, and give back even a fraction of what she's done for Pittsburgh.

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