Saturday, August 20, 2011

Static And Noise: "Boomstick" Was Taken

Baron My Heart: If I were the type to have a self-imposed pretentious nickname, it would be "The Baron." No one really knows what a baron is, outside of it being some arcane title of nobility. And, yeah, you have the Red Baron--frozen pizza magnate and nemesis of Snoopy--but besides that existence of some obscure musicians or racehorses no one is really known as the Baron. As far as I know, anyway--there may be some wayward pro wrestler or Gilded Age fat cat that's co-opted the name, but if there is I can't find it. But since I'm not the type to affect a self-imposed pretentious nickname (cough, cough), the point is moot.

America Frist: I had this idea of starting to draft Bill Frist for president. He's a solid conservative, but not eye-poppingly-crazy so, he has plenty of political contacts from being majority leader in the Senate, and he's been out of politics for a while (but not too long) so he can't accept blame for current issues. And you know what he has been doing? Helping starving children in Africa. A Republican. Helping starving children. Alas, a helpful Twitter follower reminded me about the whole Terry Schiavo fiasco, which calls his judgement into question and provides plenty of ammunition for opponents. No one politician is perfect, but this is a pretty big blot on his history. Since I can't bring myself to really like anyone else that is running, I thought I had found a decent candidate. Oh well.

Full Service: The gas station chain choice around here is a franchise called Sheetz, which in addition to gas sells awful food that tastes delicious. So here is my million dollar idea to improve their business: when someone is out pumping gas, there is the same touch screen menu as in the store for ordering food. Then, by the time you are done pumping gas, the food is ready and you can just walk in and grab it. Since they already have your credit card, no need to wait in line to pay. If they really want to get all fancy, they can have one of the clerks take your food out for you--they already have the pump number and it's already paid for. It may be just enough to push that recalcitrant GetGo out of business.

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