I am lazy today, so here are a few turkey leftovers:
Why is the price of turkeys increasing?
Did Harper's Bazaar invent Thanksgiving?
Here is the modern science of turkey procreation. (Hint: "turkey baster" has a whole new meaning.)
A turkey took revenge in a Pittsburgh restaurant.
If for some reason you don't know how to make a hand turkey, you are an idiot. But here is a step-by-step process if you are so inclined.
And, finally, so help you, if you've never watched this, it's worth the 24 minutes. Also: you are not a true American.