Sunday, November 11, 2012

The Most Boring Awesome Job Ever

I think I've mentioned this before, but years ago I thought that I might like to be a private investigator. (Editor's note: I did mention it. Here's the post.) What turned me off was that the job would mostly entail hanging out in bushes looking for cheating spouses and not skulking around drafty mansions with a magnifying glass looking for scraps of paper to solve a cipher.

Still, I occasionally think what it would be like to do such investigations and I always end up realizing that it will involve 1% awesome and 99% dealing with horseshit like cocaine mules and child molesters. So when I see articles like this I'm reminded of the awesome part and not the depressing part.

Basically, the famous 1903 patent from the Wright Brothers has turned up missing.

I'm sure it's still the same old mundane investigation and it won't be nearly as exciting as I assume. I picture that it involves some wayward historian gone rogue who is coldcocking off-duty cops and hiding the document in plain sight in front of clueless investigators. Meanwhile, a rival historian is plotting revenge against him to gain this priceless document via a multitude of measures that I assume mean Chinese mercenaries and a safe house.

Of course, if you read the article you realize that the patent has been missing since 1980. Apparently they are just coming around to letting us know. Somehow I doubt that the standard federal bureaucracy is making the investigation move much more slowly. And now all of a sudden we are back to dealing with the 99% horseshit again.

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