Saturday, May 18, 2013

My Day So Far

So far today, my wife and I:

  • saw a trio of girls selling lemonade in cups from their kitchen (they assured us that they were washed after every serving.)
  • saw an operational DeLorean
  • went the wrong way down a one-way street (note to Butler: MORE SIGNS PLZ)
  • saw a guy playing a flute in a cemetery
  • witnessed some guy walking down the street singing a song very loudly while listening to headphones (overheard possible lyrics: "I'm busy runnin' my fingers through yo mother's hair"). Later down the street he stripped off his shirt. I think he was The One True Baller.
  • saw three friendly dogs who came up to us at a stop sign to beg for pats on the head
  • saw one very, very angry dog in the parking lot of a grocery store
  • saw a stop sign, except the sign--supplanted, no doubt, by an enterprising youngster with scarily drippy spray paint--now reads "Stop Snitchin'." Some serious shit must have gone down in Rural Valley, Pennsylvania.
  • saw another sign defaced from "One Way" to "One Love."
  • an old redneck from Florida who used to work for Corbin/Hanner and told the bartender awful jokes (Punchline: "Bring her over and I'll make you an offer.")
  • seriously considered crashing a wedding that had rented out the entire restaurant we planned on going to. (We didn't.)
  • saw a fat guy casing a health food store for a future robbery attempt (this was pure speculation on our part).
  • a pair of green neon panties in a parking lot
The day is not over.

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