Sunday, November 3, 2013

Gold Medal Champion

Usain Bolt claims that, during the 2008 Olympics, he ate over 1000 Chicken McNuggets from McDonald's.

Now, far be it for me to extrapolate from a limited data set, but I suspect that given that standard I am clearly on my way to win a whole sleeveful of gold medals from the Sochi Olympics, only my sport of choice would probably be Cadbury Dairy Milk Bars and Five Guys Burgers (with Cajun fries on the side--I'm not a philistine). To be fair, I was a collegiate horrible-food champion all through college, so my prowess in this is clearly not a surprise.

Realistically, I realize that these athletes consume such food because they are high-calorie items, used to make up all the calories they burn by constantly running and swimming. (Michael Phelps famously had a huge diet as well, usually involving lots of entire pizzas and energy drinks.) Since I am very good at the consumption side but not so much on the constantly-performing-incredible-amounts-of-physical-activity side, I'm more than willing to settle for bronze.

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