Thursday, November 28, 2013

Proposed New Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Balloons

  • That Geico Hump Day Camel*
  • Various parts of Kim Kardashian
  • Jennifer Lawrence. Seriously, that girl is everywhere
  • Rob Ford. Not a balloon of Rob Ford, but Rob Ford himself.
  • Grumpy Cat*
  • The UMPC Happy Funtime Anti-Competitive Get Well Bear
  • A collection of old health care plans that people won't be able to keep after the parade is over
  • Doug from accounts payable
  • Kanye West's ego
  • Whoever that horse is that Lady Gaga put on the cover of Artpop
  • Federal Reserve Chairman Candidate Janet Yellen.
  • The State of California, if only that someone might "accidentally" let go and it drifts away into nothingness
  • Steven Moffat, filled not with helium but with the gaping expanse of plot holes he's written in Doctor Who.
  • A fox, just so we can find out what it says and everyone can stop singing that damn song
  • The horse they used to make Aldi's hambugers. Sorry, "hamburgers."
  • That bear that Miley Cyrus dressed as. Or the Miley Cyrus a bear dressed up as. Either way, don't stand underneath it.
  • Vladimir Putin with a crossbow
  • A big graph of Macy's year-over-year retail sales. Unfortunately, this is one balloon they won't be able to inflate it.
*This might actually happen.

1 comment:

  1. My favorite is Doug from accounts payable but all... very, very funny list!