Thursday, May 14, 2015

4 Items Or Less

I swear, I don't just write about food.

Thankfully, this post involves food only as a secondary aspect of the story; the first is my inability to engage in common social interactions.

I went into the local overpriced grocery store chain to look for a specific item--a frozen gluten-free pizza, which my wife enjoys but can be somewhat hard to find. So when we do come across them, we tend to stock up in case they are harder to find in the future.

Anyway, I look in the freezer section and saw that they did, in face, have frozen pizzas in stock. So I grab three of them and throw them in my cart. I browsed the store quickly but realized I didn't want to spend $14 on a small cylinder of artisan Diet Pepsi or $8 for a single vegan GMO-free gourmet chocolate chip cookie, so the only thing in my cart were the pizzas.

The nice clerk checks me out and tells me the total, which seems much higher than it should be.

"Uh..." I say, trying to avoid eye contact. I glance at the screen and see that she had charged me for four pizzas, not three.

"You charged me for four pizzas," I say, trying not to embarrass the poor girl. It's an easy mistake, but not one you can let slide when you're buying specialty pizza at the world's least competitively-priced store.

"Yeah," she replied, in an equally non-direct-confrontation manner.

"So, uh, I only got three."

The clerk--who couldn't have been much more than sixteen, glanced down at the bags she had just made.

"No, there's four."

"No," I repeated a little more forcefully, "I picked up three."

I then realize with horror that there are, in fact, four pizzas in the bags. I somehow must have grabbed one more than I thought.

"Whelp," I said. "Looks like I got four. I swear I got three."

The clerk didn't really respond. I don't blame her; she was wrongfully accused in an open court of random people who just wanted to buy their arugula tea and prepackaged fusion sushi through the system and go home to drink their mid-range wine and watch premium cable.

I swiftly grabbed my bags and left. Looks like I'll have to find a new grocery store to embarrass myself in.

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