Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Dr. Seuss Redeux: Books for the Modern Child



There’s a new Dr. Seuss book coming out this week. The book is sure to be a success following the standard profitable model called the “Harper Lee Treatment.” The book, called What Pet Should I Get? Is already a best-seller, sure to catch the imagination of many a small child this summer with its whimsical drawings, repetitive stanzas, and nonsensical spellings of imaginary words.
So with the success of this new book, maybe it’s time to re-release some of his classics, with a modern spin. Such as:

  • ·         Dairyless Eggs and GMO-Free Ham
  • ·         And To Think That I Saw It On The E! Network
  • ·         If I Ran The Dunkin Donuts That Keeps Getting My Order Wrong
  • ·         Mr. Brown Can Sue. Can You?
  • ·         How The Grinch Stole Black History Month
  • ·         The LoraXXX
  • ·         Oh, The Drinks You Can Drink!
  • ·         Horton Hears Uptown Funk On The Radio Yet Again
  • ·         Yertle the Turtle: My Life With Michaelangelo
  • ·         Guy Fawks In Socks
  • ·         The Cat In The Ironic Trucker Hat
  • ·         The Berenstain Bears Can Go Lick A Taint (posthumous)
  • ·         I Can Read With My Kindle Battery Dead!
  • ·         Wavy-Head Swazye
  • ·         One Phish Two Phish Dead Phish Stewed Phish
  • ·         Oh, The Places You’ll Go To Find A Last-Minute Graduation Present

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