Monday, August 24, 2015

Bath Time

My dogs, like all dogs, hate to take baths.

Our dogs--Dexter and Chloe, are both dachshunds, Dex being short-haired and Chloe long-haired. They are generally decent enough dogs, sanitation-wise, if we willfully don't count bad breath. (A yawning dachshund would turn even the stoutest ISIS soldier). Chloe doesn't like to do her business outside when it rains (and sometimes even when it doesn't) and that causes some olfactory concerns once in a while. Regardless, they, like all dogs, get a little ripe after a while, and so must be bathed on a fairly regular basis.

Chloe is relatively calm. Oh, she hates it, but after a few moments of anger she settles in, knowing the less she resists the sooner it will be over. When she was younger, she would willingly try and rinse herself off under the faucet, but has since wised up and decided that I have to do all the work. Dachshunds are nothing if not lazy.

Dexter, however, is a huge ball of anxiety. He has some latent skin issues, and so has to be bathed a little more often, but he can't handle it. He has no idea how to process the fact that he is getting scrubbed with soap and water--and, now, with some medicated shampoo that has to sit for ten minutes or so. He haaaates it. Maybe not hates--he just grouses and fusses and stomps until it's all over. This was manageable for a while, but then he decided that that was not enough and started to protest by taking a sudden dump mid-bath. He would then look at me accusingly, as if there's any among us who hasn't defecated in the shower once in our lives. Thankfully, he has grown out of that phase and has gone back to protesting via high-pitched whining.

They both then have this ritual. They hate getting dried off, so I have to rub them down the best I can, wrap them up like a burrito, and then let them loose, where they spend the next six hours flapping their ears and shaking their bodies as if they just got out of the Iranian embassy.

And then they fall asleep, because they are lazy, easily tired dogs. Just as good dachshunds should be.

No comments:

Post a Comment