Friday, November 6, 2015

Quick! Sand!

According to wikipedia, I just found out that it is practically impossible for humans to sink into quicksand. The density and physics just doesn't work out--it's a bad time, to be sure, but you're still getting to the Zaire Hotel that tonight. Presumably.

But that means that cartoons lied to me! John Mulaney notwithstanding, I'm just wondering what other things cartoons have lied about. I am wondering if I can convince an actuary to figure out the likelihood of the following:

  • Having an anvil dropped on your head
  • Having a piano dropped on your head
  • Having a white paint brush drag along the back of a black cat
  • Having woodland creatures clean the house and not leave droppings everywhere
  • Having a small mouse actually cram an entire wedge of cheese in their mouth
  • Being shot at close range by a blunderbuss with the only consequence being soot
  • Picking a rabbit up by its ears without ending up in the hospital getting a rabies shot
  • The chance of falling off a cliff and leaving a hole the exact size as yourself
  • Being able to squeeze a metal cause hard enough that the spinach inside pops up almost vertically, curves at an angle, and ends up in your mouth in a matter of seconds
  • Having a bowling ball dropped on your head
I've seen things. None of these are implausible. 

No comments:

Post a Comment