Tuesday, November 1, 2016

The Name Is The Same

Any time you think you're having a bad day and want this sweet nightmare of an election over with, just be glad you aren't these two people.

Having the name "Donald Trump" or "Hillary Clinton" without actually being the individuals running for president has to be a living terror. You get absolutely none of the benefits and all of the random Twitter mentions that probably make you lose sleep at night.

Thankfully, I have a fairly unusual name, so it's unlikely that I would ever be confused with anyone else--except apparently there's another Steve-O who is an accomplished high school runner (I am, decidedly, not) and another who has had some run-ins with the law. The only way to combat this is to overwhelm Google's search engine with stupid cartoons of sharks and tasteless jokes.

"Harkleroad" is also fairly unusual, but not without its adherents--there's Bill Harkleroad from the psychedelic band Captain Beefheart, and of course there is Ashley Harkleroad, a person I have been told is a naked tennis player. There is also apparently an entire cadre of Harkleroads out east in Pennsylvania Dutch country, which sounds about right. I wouldn't be surprised if my namesake is out there somewhere selling expensive furniture or shoofly pie.

There's a rule in the Screen Actor's Guild where no two actors can have the same name to cut down on the confusion, which is why a lot of actors and actresses have prominent middle names or middle initials. (Or they just make up their names.) I sometimes wonder if we shouldn't do that with everyone--you type in a name, and it spits out whether someone has already claimed it or not. Then again, this would encourage people to name their kid Aaydein or Treylooore, so maybe that's a dumb idea.

Anyway, if you're out there and meet a Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump, you may want to double-check to make certain they aren't horrible people first. Only then can you be sure.

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